IINTERVIEW WITH JENNIFER MARGULIS, AUTHOR OF WHY BABIES DO THAT AND TODDLER
Let's join Jennifer Margulis, author of Toddler: Real-life Stories of Those Fickle, Irrational, Urgent, Tiny People We Love
Tell me about your background – how did you get started as a writer? What’s your the Ph.D. in?
My Ph.D. is in 19th century American literature and my subspecialty is African-American literature. I handed in my dissertation (which was on white American slavery in North Africa and its effect on the American literary imagination) two weeks after my first baby was born. When she was six weeks old I went back to work as a visiting assistant professor at Emory University (where I got my degree).
Even though I only had to be on campus 2-3 days a week and I was lucky enough to have a husband who could stay home, it was really hard. I felt my daughter's babyhood was slipping by without me and I hated pumping my breasts. (I can tell you some hilarious pumping stories--the kind that did not seem funny at the time but...)
I had no idea, then, that you could actually get PAID to write. Or that you could make a living at it. When I finally figured that out, I had to un-learn a lot of things. Writing for an academic market is not anything like popular writing and my Ph.D. has been something of a hinderance. (One editor told me that she gets nervous when she sees Ph.D. after someone's name, because in her experience that means they don't know how to write! Another friend who is a very accomplished poet and novelist, and who teaches writing at a CUNY school, never submits her creative work on academic letterhead, nor does she mention the fact she is a professor.)
I started modestly--writing for a local parenting magazine that paid me $80/article. I loved doing it, and loved the fact that what I was writing was often totally relevant to my everyday life. When I learned that some magazines were paying $1/word (now many pay more--between $1.25 and $2/word) I was even more determined to find a way to make a real living as a writer, which is what I do now.
I still do some local work even though the pay is a fraction of what I make for national magazines because I like contributing to the community where I live and I also really appreciate working with good editors. So, I write a monthly travel story and weekly column for the local newspaper (www.DailyTidings.com), I write for Valley Kids and Healthy Life (two Western Massachusetts publications that I love), I do magazine writing as a freelancer and I'm also a writing coach. (I like to call myself a consultant because I think it sounds better but "coach" is the in word these days.) I'm also a photojournalist and I sell my photographs, mostly for stories that I've written.
What was your motivation behind writing Why Babies Do That
Why Babies Do That
One of their motivations, I think, was that the managing editor was expecting a baby and was reading every parenting book she could get her hands on. I was intrigued by the project--I had read in The Secret Language of Children: How to Understand What Your Kids Are Really Saying
My motivation in writing the book was to help parents and other caregivers become more fluent in infantese, that strange language babies use without speaking in coherent sentences.
This book is much less serious than Toddler: Real-life Stories of Those Fickle, Irrational, Urgent, Tiny People We Love
I had the idea for writing (well, I should say compiling since the book is an anthology) Toddler: Real-life Stories of Those Fickle, Irrational, Urgent, Tiny People We Love
My oldest daughter was an easy baby who morphed into a difficult toddler. My new baby (who I assumed would be just like her sister--ha!) came out screaming and cried for almost nine months. It didn't help that I read in Our Babies, Ourselves : How Biology and Culture Shape the Way We Parent
When I only had one child I felt like I was a pretty good mom. After my second daughter was born I felt completely insane and at my wit's end. I really wanted to know how other people were coping with their toddlers and I loved reading real stories by real people (as opposed to how to advice in magazines and many parenting books).
"Toddler" is a very honest book, I think. Some of the stories are hilarious and others are absolutely heartbreaking. The tone of "Why Babies" is very different from "Toddler" in part because the audience is different--it's meant to be a reassuring book for new parents that not only explains why your baby is doing what she's doing (drooling enough to fill a small lake, opening only one eye at a time, playing with her poop) but that inspires you not to freak out by that behavior.
I think of some of the things I did as a first-time mom--calling the doctor in the middle of the night because my daughter pooped seven times in about five minutes, going to the emergency room because I thought she was "high-pitched" crying (EVERY book said to be alarmed by high-pitched crying but how can you tell what kind of crying is or isn't high-pitched? They kept us there for four hours and my daughter slept peacefully through all of it).
What’s your writing routine? How do you balance your writing career with motherhood? Any advice for moms (and dads) who write?
This is a deceptively hard question to answer as my writing routine varies a lot. My husband and I are both writers and we tend to be very deadline driven. If he's on deadline I only write when the kids are in bed (and we put them to sleep early as I covet both that time and their sleep).
But I usually work in the mornings, from 9 a.m. (which is about the time I get home from biking my daughter to first grade) until about 1 p.m. I find that I can't do more than four hours of writing or of editing without getting burned out. But I almost always go back and work at night, which means I don't get a lot of sleep.
Are you still going to Niger? Are you bringing your family? Does the book you’re currently working on ("Slowly Slowly Doesn't Mean You Won't Arrive") deal with families or is it a complete departure from your previous work?
Yes! I found out last week that I was awarded a Fulbright teaching/research fellowship and we'll be spending next year--at least nine months--in Niger, West Africa. Of course my family is coming (though my husband isn't exactly thrilled about it)!
The book I'm working on is about nonprofit development work in West Africa and will have a lot about families, especially women and children, in it. I don't see it as a complete departure--I've always been interested in people on the fringe of society (right now today I'm writing an article about a homeless family with three children that makes $30,000 a year begging and lives in motels) and in the less fortunate.
I see children in America as a marginalized group (having just finished Come Back : A Mother and Daughter's Journey Through Hell and Back
(And the big loaded question…) How come you’re not doing a blog? (If you are going to Niger, a blog would be a great way for your readers to stay in touch.)
I mean to be doing a blog and I even started one. Then I got so frustrated by technical difficulties (I'm not very internet savvy) that I put it on hold for awhile. I love reading blogs and really appreciate them. And I agree, it would be great to start one when we're in Niger.
I think there are two other reasons that mine isn't up and running yet: Since I write a weekly newspaper column I'm always on deadline for that and writing a daily blog seems intimidating. I don't know where to find the time to do it and to do it well. Also, the best blogs I read--like yours--are the ones that are really raw and honest.
I'm worried that I couldn't write like that unless I did it anonymously. My husband is a very private person (I have to clear my columns with him when I write about him--we came to this agreement after I let everyone in our small town know that he and I met at a party where we were both dressed in drag. I won't go into the details here...) and if he were to be part of the subject of my blog (as he inevitably would be) that might not be so good for our marriage.
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